Hide jokes

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?

That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.

Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?

Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!

What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.

I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Okay, hide and I will hide and Seek will be it.

Seek: Why do I have to be it?

Figure: Because your name says so.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

Why did the egg hide?

Because it was a little chicken!

Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.

The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."

"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."

"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."

I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.

A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?

- A boner.

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?

A. Hide and seek.

Why do orphans hate hide and seek?

Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.

Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!

Dad: Uh...

*hides his rifle*

Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?

Because nobody will actually look for them.