Hide jokes
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?
Because they're so good at it.
Yo mama so ugly that she's the reason monsters hide under the beds.
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
What’s the difference between kids and drugs?
I don’t hide drugs in my basement.
A burglar breaks into the home of a weapons engineer. He wants to steal some of his weapons from his strictly secured chamber. When he breaks in through the window to go into his weapons cellar, he realizes that the inventor is at home and heard him from upstairs.
The burglar shouts, "Hands up, there is no escape!" The engineer shouts, "What do you want from me?" The thief answers impatiently, "Well, what do you think? I know what you're hiding here. Get me entry to your armory, right away!" "Never in my life will I do that!" The burglar pulls out his pistol, "Either you let me in, or you go for it!"
"Well, I'll give up, I'll give you my guns. Please don't shoot me." The burglar grins gleefully, "Thank you." "I even have a gun here that I've been working on lately. You can have it." The burglar then thinks and grunts, "Okay, before you open up, you'll show me this first!"
The inventor says, "It's shooting plasma. You can test it on one of my practice goals that I've made while I'm unlocking," and points to a side room where various dummies with targets are set up. The burglar walks into the room with the targets, focuses on the red dot in the middle of the disc, and pushes off. But the gun does not fire plasma or at the target. Instead, the gun fires a bullet at the burglar. This causes him to bleed to the ground.
The engineer behind him began to laugh, "Hahaha! I knew you were falling for it! This is not a plasma gun at all; this is my latest invention, especially for burglars like you: the backward-shooting pistol."
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
What’s a booty’s favorite game?
Hide and cheek.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?
Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.