HI jokes

What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?

Anything you want—he can’t hear you.

What did the father name his daughter with no legs?

Peggy.

What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?

"Him and his dead family." :(

Kid: Hi.

Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?

Kid: Why are you rude?

Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.

Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To reunite with his parents.

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?

Because the principal was going to call his parents.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?

A: He broke his funny bone!

What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?

"I sea him!"

Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.

Why did Oliver have no friends?

His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.

My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.