HI jokes
Son: Hi.
Dad: Yo.
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Memes
Why did the orphan have to eat his cereal with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?
Because the principal was going to call his parents.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?
A: He broke his funny bone!
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.