Hey jokes

Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.

Jack: Hey Josh!

Josh: What?

Jack: Sex!

Josh: Huh?

Jack: SEX!!

Josh: I don't get it.

Jack: Exactly ;)

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

- Hey, are you single?

- No, I'm album.

How 9/11 Happened!:

Hey Bush, Truth or dare?

Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?

Mum?

Mum?

Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

Hey, you down to fuck?

No, I’m just down.

A friend texts to another:

"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"

The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"

To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."

Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.

Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!

Wait, what Billy?

Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!

Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!

My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.

Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!

Guys, go to https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5b3937c1a328f6072c316bd6/hey-guys-who-wants-to-play-roblox-with-me-we-can-go-om-cool-maps-my-name-is-xx_robloxgamer420_xx-pleeease-lets-play-rol and read the whole thing because I need people to play with, and everyone is being retarded. Thanks guys, goodbye.

What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"

I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"

Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"