Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
