Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.
Hes Jokes
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.
Have you ever stepped into Steven Hawking's House?
Neither has he.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
