; Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had 'no-body' to go with.
What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? Alive.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies? Everywhere.
Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
"Why is Peter Pan always flying?" "He neverlands."
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Did you hear about the guy who afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.
My dad was a great pilot............. He died in 911
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
