Hes jokes
Chuck Norris is...
What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.