Hes jokes
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!