My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male? From a physically disabiled gay male who is either at the gym ๐ช ๐ช ๐๏ธโโ๏ธ or at the rest area โฟ๏ธ ๐น ๐ฝ
Why did the rapper apologize to the sidewalk?
He didnโt mean to SPIT that hard.
Why did the rapper sit on the stool?
Because he had too much FLOW to stand still!
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the queen? Paul Walker passed 100 before he died
What did God say when he made the first black man? crap I burnt one
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up that little shit wants to be gone down an alley
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll fuck you for $10." The boy says, โI would, but I don't have any money.โ She says, โOk, I'll take the duck instead.โ He says ok, so they go upstairs and fuck.
The prostitute says, โThatโs the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again.โ So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and $25 for a fucked up fuck.
Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?
He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL!
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like dad what are you doing? I said donโt worry youโll be doing it soon. He said why is that? I told him my arm is getting tired.
How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?
He drops the beet.
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
