Hes jokes
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?
Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to drop some TIMELY RHYMES!
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
Because he had too many FILL-INS.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
How does a rapper stay cool?
He drops some ICE in his rhymes.
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life on the rhyme side!
Why was the rapper always calm during performances?
Because he had a rap-titude for chillin'!
Why is 10 scared of 11 and 9? Because he's in the middle of 9/11.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case he had to drop some BOMBS.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was good at SERVING RHYMES.
"BlessedBrian" is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads him, but somehow he KEEPS SHOWING UP.
"BlessedBrian must be a bank loan... because he has NO INTEREST."
Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?
So he could querk.