Her jokes
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
Yo mama is so fat that even CaseOh couldn't bang her.
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
this convo is crazy
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
She'd suck my dick and let me suck her tits.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!
What is the best way to pick up a woman from the bar?
Spike her drink with roofies.
Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.
A guy once went hunting at a hunting ranch. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in the rancher’s living room. There they were having a grand ole time then the rancher’s wife walks in. The hunter says, “That’s a nice piece of ass you got yourself there.” The rancher replied with a harsh, raspy Southern chuckle from years of Marlboro Reds, “You’ve never been so right in your life. Honey, why don’t you show our guest your tits?” She agrees and shows the hunter her plump DD cup breasts.
The hunter says, “Nice.” Then the rancher said, “Show ‘em yer pecker now.” She agreed and whipped out a 13 incher. Dazed and confused, the hunter says, “What in Sam Hill is that?!” And the rancher replied, “Now... lemme tell you... there ain’t a thing like it.”
Yo mama's so ugly that Sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.