Her Jokes

Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"

Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"

Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."

Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".

He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"

Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."

What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?

~they're both a dick in a box.

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.

A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."

A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"

The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."

The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."

What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?

Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?

They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”

What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.

What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

Why did Gemma fall off her bike?

She got hit by a fridge.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you haven't told her twice.

Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!

If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?

If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, you gotta hand it to her.

How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.