Helen Keller jokes
How does Helen Keller say "dad?"
I don’t know, but you should ask her... wait, never mind, she can’t talk.
Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?
Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!