Snatch jokes

What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?

One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.

The Hodja purchased a piece of meat at the market, and on his way home he met a friend.

Seeing the Hodja's purchase, the friend told him an excellent recipe for stew.

"I'll forget it for sure," said the Hodja. "Write it on a piece of paper for me."

The friend obliged him, and the Hodja continued on his way, the piece of meat in one hand and the recipe in the other. He had not walked far when suddenly a large hawk swooped down from the sky, snatched the meat, and flew away with it.

"It will do you no good!" shouted the Hodja after the disappearing hawk. "I still have the recipe!"

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.

Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.

Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?

She wipes with a Brillo pad.

How did I kill Georgee?

I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.

A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.