Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly I took one shot puffed through my pipe and jumped in the air on a trampoline I woke up in heaven. I asked an angel how did I die you? "Well little monkey you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head your mom called the doctor and doctor said you were dead.
why did the student at blacktown girls cross the road? to go to heaven HAHAHA
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and hell must be crowded.
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died he will let them in. The first one said I just finished a long day of work and I get home and right as I stepped in I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody so I got a drink and went to the balcony and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands but he wouldn’t fall so I threw a Refrigerator at him and I fell with the Refrigerator. God busted out laughing and let him in. The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, so get this I’m a window washer on the 8th floor I’m washing the windows like normal and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die. God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. So get this I’m in a refrigerator...
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?’ ''Yes madam...My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class !!
''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?”
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```...!!!”
What is the difference between jesus and the devil? When the devil came to earth he was the one with the nail gun.
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?' ''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about my Mom " "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit". "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife". "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class !!
''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk```......!!!!"
Why do orphans want to die Because they might see there parents in heaven
What do the people in heaven thad died on the titanic call the titanic...the dietanic
devil : hey angel angel : hi devil why are nice ? devil : what do angels add to there food to make it i little more spicy? angel : what? devil : angelpinos
Why can't heaven and hell ever be one 2nd paradise? Heaven always has 5 star reviews.
Some people could say that the sky was falling that day, one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven
So I bus crashes killing everyone on the bus and god feels so bad that he gives each one a wish so the first person comes up and she wants to be beautiful so god makes her beautiful and she goes into heaven next person comes up and he says I want to be beautiful as well as the last man in the back begins laughing a little so this goes on everyone becoming beautiful until god asked the last person what they want and he said I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again! so god had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted
Scratches on an icy road and kills or 50 people on the bus and when they get to heaven God feel so bad for them and grants them all one wish the first lady in the line was always worried about her looks so she wish to be beautiful and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to want to wish about so he also wish to be beautiful but this keep on going but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh when he got to God he said God says what’s what is your one wish my son I wish you can make them all ugly again
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing and now I'm in heaven
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven you’re adopted Haley say like me more than you
OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!
My bully: your face is ugly. Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stair way to heaven. My bully: :(
