So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
Man Cancer is so easy to beat, I'm already on stage 4
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
