Have jokes
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Why can't orphans go to Home Depot?
Because they do not have a home!
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Q: I have a fish that can breakdance! A: Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.