Have jokes
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.