Have jokes
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
To have someone to call "daddy!"
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?
If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.
But why does 10 have PTSD?
Cuz it’s between 9/11.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.