Have jokes
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no, we'll have to go through it!"
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?
Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.
What does McDonald's and priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds.
Guys, put more comments in.
We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two wrongs don't make a white.
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.
Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."