Have jokes
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!