Have jokes
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
What is the biggest lie ever?
"I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions."
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.
But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.