Have jokes

Have you played the game Imagine Dragons? Imagine draggin' deez nuts!

Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.

I created a website for orphans, though it doesn't have a homepage.

If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.

Have you ever eaten African food?

Why do orphans pray to God?

So they have someone to call father.

What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

What is it called when an orphan is having a family reunion?

Me time.

I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.

Why are some girls scared easily?

They don't have balls.

Why do special ed classes have fans?

To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.

Most foresters have a wooden personality.

Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?

Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.

Why does a woodpecker have a beak?

So as to not smash his head against the tree.

Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...

BA-DUM CHHH!

What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?

They have both had a few strokes.