Have jokes
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
So two guys walk into a bar. One says, "Can I have something to drink?"
The other says, "You wish!" LOLOLOLOLOLOLO dab on the haters - Jake Paul wreeeeecckkked.................... DABDABDABDBABABDBABDBABDBABDBDABDBsabBaDBAD,,,,,,,,,,five fo e the winners. KILL MATPAT, THE EARTH IS FLAT AND A DONUT
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,
"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."
Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."
I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.