Have jokes

Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

Doc: Can I help you?

Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.

Doc: When did it begin?

Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).

Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...

Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.

Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?

Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.

Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?

Because he’s a hoot.

Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?

They have to see food to eat.

Why can't orphans get a home run?

Because they have no home to run to.

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

Why does the ice cream have so many friends?

Because he’s cool.

Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?

There cheetah you.

What is the difference between whores and nuns?

Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.

Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.

Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.

American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"

Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"

German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"

Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.

What do a politician and a minister have in common?

Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.

What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?

A blowjob is anonymous.

What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?

They both break your heart.