Have jokes

Dream

8 views ·

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

Whore

65 views ·

What do condoms and whores have in common?

Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.

Sally

Knock knock?

Who's there?

Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.

Name

1 view ·

Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.

Student: My name is Buttitches.

Teacher: Please tell us your real name.

Student: Buttitches.

Teacher: I’m calling the police.

Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.

Student: Buttitches.

Police: *shoots gun.*

A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."

Sperm

173 views ·

How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

She chews before she swallows.

Butt

10 views ·

Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!

Bicycle

1 view ·

What's the difference between a bicycle?

A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.

Woman

38 views ·

A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.

One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."

Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."

Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"

All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"

The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."

Dick

45 views ·

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

Dick

159 views ·

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.