Have jokes

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

What do emo kids and bananas have in common?

They both hang on trees.

If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.

Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?

Because he didn't have a pen to write with.

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

Give a like if I have no friends.

What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

How are orphans and blind kids similar?

They both have never seen their parents :)

Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.

All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)

"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."

"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"

"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

What do depression and suicide have in common?

Nothing, they're both hanging.