Have jokes
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
How many children does Explain Bear have?
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a Glock aimed at you.
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Donald Trump is gonna be the best president we have ever had.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.