Harris

Harris Jokes

Author

How does the author of Harry Potter get around?

She walks, JK, Rowling!

Atom

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

Harry Houdini

What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?

"Now sashimi, now you don't!"

Ginger

What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?

A ginger with friends.

Kid

"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

Bear

A bear is like your best mate, Harry.

If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.

Wheelchair

Why couldn’t wheelchair Harry Potter go to Hogwarts?

They had no wheelchair ramps or elevators...

Chamber

Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?

Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.

Marriage

A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.

The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.

Voldemort

Voldemort: Knock, knock.

Harry Potter: Who's there?

Voldemort: You know.

Harry Potter: You know who?

Voldemort: Exactly!