Harding jokes
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
It's hard to predict the future,
especially before it happens.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.
My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?
My dick hard.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.