New Harding Jokes - Page 15 - Worst Jokes Ever

What can a rock possibly say?

Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.

What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?

Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.

Hi, I...

Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.

The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.

Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?

A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.

A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."

I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.

What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!

I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.

My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?

My dick hard.

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.

The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."

A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.

To not be outdone, the blond retorts:

"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"