You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
To all my bullies: don’t call me gay because I’m not happy.
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
I AM FUCKING HAPPY AS HELL.
Me: Am actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
What do you never say to gay people?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️🌈
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
