Hang jokes

Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?

They would hang themselves like ornaments.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

What do you call an Emo in the hanging gallows?

Happy for the first time.

Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?

A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.

An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"

Wanna come hang out with me?

Chat box hangout.

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

Why can’t you trust an emo kid?

'Cause they always leave you hanging.

Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?

Lights are hanging.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.

When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?

Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.

Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Rape victim: I want to die.

Man: Hang in there.

Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."