Hang

Hang jokes

Flag

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

Emo

If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.

Suicide

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

Noose

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

Emo kid

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Melania Trump

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

Dad

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.

Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Rape

Rape victim: I want to die.

Man: Hang in there.

Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.

Hangman

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

Angel

Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."

Adoption papers

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

Depression

Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.

Emo

Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?

They're still hanging.