Hang jokes
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
Why couldn't the surfer hang 10?
Because he forgot his feats!
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"
I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!