Hang jokes

Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?

They would hang themselves like ornaments.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?

They always hang around.

What is an emo girl's favorite map in Halo?

Hang 'em high.

Why couldn't the surfer hang 10?

Because he forgot his feats!

A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.

What do emos do when they meet up?

They hang out.

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

Chat box hangout.

Why can’t you trust an emo kid?

'Cause they always leave you hanging.

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?

So they have a place to hang the air freshener.

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.

Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Rape victim: I want to die.

Man: Hang in there.

Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."

I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.