Hang jokes

Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"

Friend #2: "Apples"

Me: "I can hang myself in them."

Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.

"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"

What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?

They're both hanging from a tree.

I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.

Why are baby elephants so smart? They hang out with friends!

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

Why did the little kid cry? His dad forgot to pull out.

Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?

They would hang themselves like ornaments.

Teacher: "What's your name?"

Student: "Hang on a second."

10 seconds later:

Teacher: "Is something wrong?"

Student: "Hang on a second!"

20 seconds later:

Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"

Student: "Hang on a second!!!"

Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"

Student: "Hang on a second!"

Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"

Student: "Just listen to me!"

Teacher: "Go on, speak!"

Student: "Hang on a second!"

Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"

Student: "Hang on a second!!!"

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left hanging.

Please stop hurting people's feelings, or they'll hang around the house.

why don't emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.

A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."