Hair jokes

Man: I must confess, Father.

Priest: What are you here to confess?

Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

Priest: And what happened to your son?

Man: He said a man raped him.

Priest: When and where did this happen?

Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

Priest: ...By whom?

Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

Priest: ...Shit

If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"

Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"

Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.

What do you call an emo with curly hair?

Sam Reid.

They are hairy.

Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!

Why was the bee’s hair sticky?

He used honeycomb.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both try to get there before the hair does.

What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.

There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!

I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.