Hair

Hair jokes

What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?

An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?

They're still hanging.

What did the orphan say to the barber?

I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.

When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."

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  • I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.

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  • Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.

    Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.