HA jokes

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

What has a heart but no organs?

A deck of cards!

Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?

A clock.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in some laundry...

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?

A dead cripple.

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

What food has an orphan made?

Homemade food.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

The black one... he's 13!

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)

I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

Logan Taub has a BBC, Big Butt Chin!