HA jokes
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
What do you call a deer that has no eyes?
No eye deer.
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
Memes
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X?
"It has no home button."
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.
Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.
I make phones for orphans. Sadly, it has no home button.
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."