HA jokes
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.
Twin Towers are on fire.
The terrorist has a streak of two.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
Mike Oxlong: What's deez, Mike?
Mike Oxsmall: I dunno. What is deez?
Mike Oxlong: DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT 'EM!
Why are you sad? Because you are in Morocco, ha ha.
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
Like if your best friend has a dog.
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.
Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.