HA jokes
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
Like if your best friend has a dog.
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.
Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
There is a country in Africa. It's called Djibouti. It has a crack in it!
What has 148 teeth and🥴🥴 holding back a monster? My zipper.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?
Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.