HA jokes
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
Guess what song was playing during 9/11? Timber by Ke$ha.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
She's so ugly, she has to sneak up on a mirror.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.
But she so ugly people are repelled by her.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.
Twin Towers are on fire.
The terrorist has a streak of two.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
Mike Oxlong: What's deez, Mike?
Mike Oxsmall: I dunno. What is deez?
Mike Oxlong: DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT 'EM!
Why are you sad? Because you are in Morocco, ha ha.