Guys jokes

What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?

He left him hanging.

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?

Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.

What do jokes serve for dessert?

I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"

I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...

But it’s quite pointless.

A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

Bitches be like "Kill all men" till a black guy dies.