Guys jokes
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.