Guys jokes
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."