Guy

Guy jokes

Parent

    • Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

    I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

    I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

    So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

    Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

    I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

    Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

    Guy memes

    Orphan

    • An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"

    The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"

    Sense

    • You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?

    Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. 😹💔

  • 1

    • Man

    • A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.

    So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."

  • 2

    • Rape

    • A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

    The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

  • 1

    • Poker

    • Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

  • 1

    • Game

    • Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?

    Friend 2: Yup.

    Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?

    Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.

    Friend: Why?

    Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?

  • 1

    • Answer

    • Are you guys alright?

    If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

    (This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

  • 0

    • Condom

    • Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.

    Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"

  • 3

    • Snack

    • Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

    Girl: Your card got declined.

    Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.