Guy

Guy jokes

Date

    • So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

    Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

    Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

    Faker

    • Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

    I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.

    Dyslexic

    • The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

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    • Cheat

    • I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.

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    • Guy memes

    Tomato

    • What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?

    They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!

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    • Millionaire

    • A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"

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    • Plate

    • Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

    Kid

    • Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

    Paint

    • Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

    Mom

    • My mom told me to get a job, so I did.

    One day my mom saw me, I had money. My mom asked me where did you get that money? My mom asked me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom asked me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the guys come and see you one by one, and I get paid for it.

    My mom said you're growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see you in the shower.

    Beta

    • Join my beta communication community committee commission Cumbria, please guys and girls and gurls. It's all inclusive b&b.

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    • Wish

    • So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

    The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

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    • Drama

    • Guys, can we stop this stupid drama? I just wanna post my "Doin' Your Mom" lyrics and funny jokes! Please stop it!

    Emotion

    • There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.

    One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!

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    • Movie

    • Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3