Guy Jokes

Hitler isn’t really a bad guy, after all he did kill hitler himself

whats fat and wanks over his mom ? guy sheppard

Friend: Why did you touch me? Me: That guy in the corner with no hair , glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?

He got inked up.

what do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

a baked potato

Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says "your getting laid tonight" She replies "what are you some sort of psychic" He says "No i'm just stronger than you".

This guy is boiling water the girl walks in and says “What are you doing” the guy says “I’m making Holy Water” She said “How?” He said “I’m boiling the hell out of it”

Roses are red i hate snitches you talk a lot of game for a guy with 3in

What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?

He mist.

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.

A guy walks into a mosque ... then blows up.

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants. A guy walks buy and says ''Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants. The pirate responds ''I know. i'ts driving me nuts!''

What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation? Do you need help packing your shit?

Guy: why can't Jesus have M&M's priest: why? Guy: because they'll fall through the whole in his hands

Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes *gasp* how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that.. and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.

Do you need an ark? Because I No-ah guy!

So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimers". The old guy replies "At least I've not got cancer".