Grief jokes
Why can't orphans play cricket?
Because they can't find home.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?
Except at a funeral.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
An orphan boy at my school did really badly on a test and started crying. I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
Technoblade NPC: Gets removed from Minecraft!
Technoblade: Gets removed from real life!
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.