Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?
Except at a funeral.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
Technoblade NPC: Gets removed from Minecraft!
Technoblade: Gets removed from real life!
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
