When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."
Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
If you're reading this, then your life means nothing...
Have a nice day! 🙂😊
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
Prince, I love you very much! Happy anniversary! Love you! ❤️❤️😘
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
Hi 👋 ooooo has tyyyyyyyyuyuyu
Hi Ethan!
Hi Eric Le!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
Hi Trent!
Hi Bradyeeeeeeee!
Hi guys, I just found this website. I got emailed by joshisboss or something. Have a great day! 👍
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
