Go jokes
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
My dad went to go get milk.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "dad."
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
Joker: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
Person: Because he felt it in his bones?
Joker: He read the weather forecast, you f*cking idiot.
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
Go to community, I'm bored.
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:
"Looks like I am going back to the future!"
I took a plane to go see my hairline.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...