Denki: Hey Mineta, I have a joke.
Mineta: ...go on...
Denki: Ochako's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it?
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: *cries T_T*
Go Jokes
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis.
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. Itโs all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.
Why donโt some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships donโt work out.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: Iโm going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
Why do the orphans keep going back to the orphan home?
Because they got no home to go to, yeah, please like this and laugh because I got no one to read this.
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
