Go jokes
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
Earth is full. Go home!
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."