Go jokes
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
Today I was asked to go out by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."