Go jokes
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating.
-->[] go through the door if you can.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
Why did the orphan go outside the school?
Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.
Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.