Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.
Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
Why isn't Stephen Hawking going to heaven?
Because he's British.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
Why can’t orphans go on “go big or go home?”
Cuz they’d always have to go big as they have no home.
Pewdiepie: I am the best YouTuber ever!
T-Series: Go away you f***!
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
